This is where desserts go
Don’t you go buying powdered sugar. Stick it to the man and make it yourself.
Here is how:
1cup and a half of plain granulated sugah
1tablespoon of corn starch
Stick that mix in a blender until it looks like powdered sugar. For me and my big-arse blender, that was under a minute. Let the dust settle and you will be well on your way to freedom. Freedom from people charging crazy prices for something so simple ( see vanilla extract ) makes me feel alive.
If life gives you lemons, make lemon curd. I really hate that phrase. I can think of no finer staple than the lemon. If life is giving you lemons then things must be nice and sunny. Ain’t no lemon I know growing in the dreary, rainy places (see Seattle, WA, USA). “Curd” is the real problem. Curd sounds disgusting. It is but a ‘t’ away from being a turd. So let’s say it in French:caillé de citron. Much better. OOoo how about Japanese: レモンカード *. Or Mexican: estúpido. Yeah, that’s right, the Meximan don’t have time for your fancy lemon curd unless you plop some in a little cerveza. You must always have lemons in your kitchen. You must.
You need:
Put this in a pan and stick it on your hob:
– Lemons, a couple big or a few small ones. Zest them and juice them.
– a stick of butter, what’s that … ½ a cup/4oz/115grams
– a slightly less than full cup of sugar … you do the math. Make it sweet.
Put this in a bowl:
– four eggs … and you don’t have to separate them!. Crack-a-lack them and whisk them up
Stop resisting:
You will grab a glass of wine or whatever your poison and ease your hot, zesty lemon goob in your phlegmatic eggs like the rest of us. Those other quick techniques for curd making are for children. Despite that constant need to update your facebook page with things that make you special, you are not a child. You are not special.
Melty, melty these things: butter, sugar, zest and juice
Slowly, slowly, drip by drip add the hot stuff from your pan on the hob in your egg bowl until the eggs look like they’re getting with the program. You’re warming them up in preparation for some hot action. A little ovum foreplay. Add the stuff in the bowl back in the pan. Whisk slowly over low heat with your right hand and drink wine with your left. Think of things while it thickens. Like “curd rhymes with turd.” Or “mama-se mama-sa” neither said nor saw.
When it gets thick, you have achieved lemon curd. From there, you do what you will. I stuck it in a little tart because I’m going through a tart phase. Knock yourself out. You’re A Vegetable, You’re A Vegetable … They Eat Off Of You, You’re A Vegetable, but of a lemon curd orientation.
HEE-HAW!
* Okay, I don’t know Japanese. I hope I didn’t offend someone’s mother there. Blame GoogleTranslate on that one
The Strawberries are showing their ripe little faces early around here. Both France and Spain’s strawberries are available and they are both succulent. … except France’s strawberries are better. The small, funny looking ones taste the best. Something that’s nice to do after everyone is leaning back, pants loosened, going on and on about what a great griller you are is to get out the strawberries and chocolate. I pop about a half a cup or so of heavy cream in a pot and stick in on the grill. After all the food has been cooked, the charcoal is usually just right for a slow warming of cream. I then break up a bar of semi-sweet melting chocolate and add it to the cream stirring slowly. Once it’s all incorporated, stick it in the middle of the table along with the strawberries and dig in. No double dipping!
You Need:
Do To It:
Voila!
… and nothing goes with strawberries better than a brut Champagne!
There is something so sexy dare I say sticky about grilled fruit. You don’t really need to do much to them. For this peach madness, Amber and Natasha used:
Peaches
Lemon
Nuts
Fat
Cream
Sugar
Nutmeg, whole nut
Quickly skimming the ingredients list with the fat, sugar and fruit, you can hardly mess this concoction up. A few nectarines were tossed in the mix as peach season has not arrived in the Northwest. Smooching in butter to the nuts is the yummiest way, but a dash of interesting oil would work too. Crème Fraiche was simple to use as a dash of cream, but for those vegans out there, soy whipped cream is tasty as all get out.
The peaches were halved then dripped with lemon juice. Amber tried two ways to cook the peaches, a few on the grill with the rest in a little, foil pouch. For this girl, both peach cooking strategies worked. The right on the grill version took advantage of the whole grill thing while the pouch peach got so steamy hot with a drop your panties aroma.
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While the peaches were making magic, Amber and Natasha mashed the fat into the nuts with some sugar. Crack open the cream, sip your Tangosa while you ready yourself for hot peach action.
Assembly is easy. Hot, halved peach, pop some nut mix in the center with some cream on top. Get your girlfriend to grate some nutmeg on top then bite. A treat so yummy forks quickly became optional. It’s like peach cobbler mobility. To crank up the fun factor, pour the peach juices over the nuts or over the peach itself. Peach juices are perty.
Truly, though, a Zen peach simply heated up on the grill then eaten naked would do the trick. No need to get all fancy with the nuts. Hot fruit done simple will woo your friends leaving more time to mingle.
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Delicate, sweet goodness all snug in its own little wrapper.
You Need:
Masa … the ol’ “golden cornflour”
Dates
Azuki Beans (sweetened red beans)
Banana Leaves
Buttah
The masa part:
Quite simple really. Pop some masa in a bowl, like a cup or so. It’s like making pancakes with Bisquick, you add melted butter until the consistency is compactable were you to make a tamale. Add the azuki beans.
The wrapper part:
The banana leaves are long, long LONG. Carefully tear them into squares, they’re just wrappers so no need to be particular.
The tamale part:
Grab a hand full of masa mix, stick a date surprise in the center. Grab some more masa mix to form a cute, little, rectanglish thingo. Pop that down in the center of the banana leaf square and wrap ‘er up. Usually pull one side over, tuck in the bums and roll to the other side. A tamale is born. So cute and impressive.
Pop that on the grill for a bit and flip once. You want it to be steamy warm. Good job. Grab some champagne, girlfriend.
This grilled pear thing was a total first kiss. It’s fall, there were pears and we went with it. Taking three sacrificial pears, we messed around to determine what seemed tastiest.
Pears
Balsamic vinegar
Walnuts
Model A
The halved pear. Leave the skin on.
Model B
The shaved pear. Whole pear, no skin
Model C
The pear. Skin and all its pearness.
Directions:
Put pear on grill. Take it off when it’s dark, handsome and looks less firm. A little poke might help determine readiness.
Only you can decide how you like it. For this girl on the grill, the whole pear triumphed hands down. It was warm, juicy and sweet. Yum.
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Presentation and Eatery:
Once cooked, cut the pear in half and place on a plate. Spew balsamic vinegar around the edge of the plate for the eater to drag a bit of pear through (it’s funner that way). Make it perty with some walnuts. Grab your champagne and sit back to take all the compliments.
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Girl On Grill Action 